***lighthouse, where we just completed a 21-day 'season of prayer' on friday. and while i am confident that w is in a much better place -- where she can see Jesus face-to-face and worship him cancer-free, with dancing and leaping and singing, where the Lord himself wipes the tears from her eyes and where the long battle with cancer can finally recede into the background of a glorious new day that stretches limitlessly into the future -- it was not what i was praying for. not exactly, anyway. at some later date, perhaps i'll write a reflection on how i sort out all of that. but today, i want to thank God for w's life. she was a tiny little thing, but big in prayer and in her impact on the lives of those around her. she will be missed by many, including me, but by none more than her husband d and daughter j.
one of the ways that God has leveraged this season of battling in prayer for w's life is to remind me to take stock of my own and to be proactive about my choices. at the end of w's life, it was a struggle for her to live and love each day. they were so filled with pain and struggle and unpleasant-but-seemingly-necessary tasks. she had no choice. but i do. and yet somehow, in the busyness of life, i find myself just trying to get through each week, getting the necessary tasks done, instead of actually living. i don't consider the big picture of what God is trying to accomplish in and through my life, nor the hopes and dreams that reside in my heart, tucked away from public view -- and sometimes even my own. i don't take enough time with the people i love, and i fritter away my discretionary time on interesting distractions (e.g. posting and discussing articles and issues on facebook) rather than taking on some bigger projects. perhaps more on that last to come...
i met yesterday with a couple of friends with whom i share and pray occasionally, and we talked some about what stephen covey famously called the 'big rocks' (the video at that link is hilarious -- and instructive). i'm not an uncritical admirer of covey, but he got this part right: if we don't get the important things in first, some of them are sure to be crowded out by lesser things.
i am grateful for the reminder that this life is not all we have, but also that this life is a gift. thank you, Father, for the encouragement to live it well. and teach me to number my days, that i may apply my heart unto wisdom (psalm 90:12).