Wednesday, January 16, 2008

baby columbia

every once in a while, i get reminded that some things that seem random maybe aren't...

when b was little, she named this little bunny 'baby columbia.' it was a little weird, frankly. we didn't even know that she knew that name. but it was cute, if seemingly off the wall. apparently, m has a sense for these things, though, because she kept baby columbia all of these years, until the opportune moment.

that moment came in mid-december, when b learned that she had been accepted early decision to columbia college. we like to say that the photo above is 'the two baby columbias.' as you may have read in a previous blog entry, that was a great day, followed by weeks of anguish after the financial aid package arrived. we began praying every night for God's provision and for his clear leading.

that was over a month ago. and yesterday, after much prayer and many long discussions, b accepted the invitation. what has changed? not much, in terms of the financial aid offer. this is going to be a faith walk, as so many things in our life seem to be. i wish i could say that i was rock solid throughout this process. nothing could be further from the truth. other than b, i am certainly the one who has agonized the most over this decision, going up and down, wondering what in the world God wanted us (and me, in particular) to do. you could be excused for wondering why i didn't already know the answer, since it never seems to change: trust him. trust him with my daughter. trust him for the money. trust him for our future, including retirement. trust him to lead us in the ways that give life.

so here we are again. and even though we've never been in this exact situation, it all seems very familiar. and not random.

for i know the plans that i have for you, declares the Lord,
plans for welfare and not for calamity,
to give you a future and a hope.
then you will call upon me and come and pray to me
and i will listen to you.
and you will seek me and find me
when you search for me with all of your heart,
and i will be found by you
declares the Lord.
jeremiah 29:11-14
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