this is the truth

in the introduction to his message on sunday, pastor w played a powerful and provocative video as a part of his message entitled 'how can i overcome self-defeating attitudes?' it's only 3 minutes long and well worth a viewing. take a look at it here.

obviously, it is clever and artfully done — the kind of thing i love. but my experience of seeing it for the first time was illuminating. i found that many of the messages in the video were actually quite familiar, as if i had heard them many times before. in fact, i'm sure that i have.

it's a funny thing. when the video started playing, i knew instantly that it didn't sound right. some of that is context — why would w want us to hear something so negative? — but mostly, i've read and studied and meditated on the word of God long enough to recognize the voice of the enemy (hebrews 5:14).

so why is it that i sometimes allow such thoughts to rattle around in my head unchallenged? they're so familiar that they seem commonplace, even normal. and that's evil.

"the safest road to hell is the gradual one—the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts."
(c.s. lewis, the screwtape letters)

though we walk in the flesh,
we do not war according to the flesh,
for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh,
but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.
we are destroying speculations
and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God,
and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.
(2 corinthians 10:3-5)

settling in

after a huge road trip like the one we took, ordinary life can seem a little mundane. but we are settling into our new home and learning to find our way around.

b and n got registered for school yesterday. it now appears that b will be a part of a program called running start, which will enable her to take at least some (maybe all) of her classes at a local community college. with school offices (both the one locally and the one in montreal) open only intermittently during the summer, this was a long time coming, and we're grateful to have it done.

all of us have been doing a bit of unpacking, though we are only partially done due to the late arrival of our shipment (delayed ten days from what we had been told). we're also hoping to do a bit of painting, which makes it hard to be very motivated to unpack.

m has been shopping for furniture, an important thing to do since we left about half of our furniture back in montreal and regardless, were moving from a smallish apartment to an actual house. she has also put the finishing touches on our final inter-varsity prayer letter — a milestone.

in addition to getting settled into my office and preaching my first sermon at lighthouse, i've been settling various financial concerns — past, present, and future. the exit from canada has not been entirely smooth, and i am still embroiled in a conflict with the canadian revenue agency over a form that i filed late. even though they agree that i didn't owe any money, they have fined me $3000. i'm trying to appeal, but our accounting firm on that end said it didn't look good. i know that one of the costs of being a missionary is running into these kinds of problems, where you don't understand all of the rules in another country, but i have to say that those guys aren't very… hospitable. otherwise, i am opening bank accounts, setting up payments, filling out tax forms, and the like. on a lighter note, i've also been working on setting up the computer network, a/v, and such in our home.

we are facing a busy week. early this morning, b left for campus by the sea on catalina island, where she'll be a camp counselor at intervarsity's alumni week. later today, we have stanford friends visiting. on monday, we'll host s and d, our first visitors from montreal, and tuesday, cousin t will come up from southern california for a couple of weeks. at the end of the week, m and i will participate in the willow creek leadership summit.

more news as it's available. in the meantime, we would appreciate your prayers during our busy transition.

the view from here

these were taken from our front doorstep, roughly the same view as from our dining room window. i'm partial to sunsets, but as you can see, the view is beautiful, even at night. it's a panoramic worship aid!

o, that you would rend the heavens and come down,
that the mountains might quake at your presence…
that the nations may tremble at your presence!
isaiah 64:1-2

a dream that must come true

[as i finished up this blog entry, i was painfully aware of how personal it is and of how offensive or divisive it could be. not everyone — not even all christians — will agree with me. i'm willing to dialogue about that and consider the thoughtful objections of others, and i hope you are. let's talk.]

as chronicled in an earlier post, our recent road trip took us through atlanta in late june, where we made a visit to the martin luther king jr. historic site. i had been once before and thought that it would be an important, thought-provoking place for our family to explore together. i was not disappointed.

it was a day of mixed emotions and deep reflection for me. i was inspired by the courage of those who had risked their jobs, their reputations, their lives and those of their families, in the pursuit of justice (though admittedly a bit uneasy with the family part). i was challenged by their commitment to non-violence in the face of savage opposition, which reminded me of Jesus who when reviled did not revile in return, nor did he exercise his considerable power to destroy his enemies but instead, laid down his life for them. could i do what they did? i had my doubts — my first inclination is to make as few waves as possible and to look after what's best for me and my family — and felt ashamed of my selfishness and fear. where is the valor that comes from faith in a God who loves the world and does the impossible? i grieved at the recollection of the awful things that one group of people inflicted on another because of race and the desire to preserve their own privileged position; if anyone has reservations about the reality of sin and evil, do an internet search of 'lynching' and get back to me. i wondered about my family's experience of those times; i was born in the early 60s and my family is from the american south. how did we respond when churches were being bombed and children were being murdered, when race riots were exploding and cities were spontaneously combusting?

i found myself in tears at many of the exhibits. the site has a variety of displays with photos, newspaper articles, and video running on television screens — images and audio of the angry, hateful words of white bigots, of the memories of blacks who endured those years, of race riots and calls (both black and white) to racial warfare, of dr. king himself, his resonant voice making impassioned pleas for equality, racial justice, and non-violence on one monitor, and denouncing the u.s. government and calling for a massive redistribution of wealth on another. the one made my soul soar; the other made me squirm uncomfortably. my brain and heart were overloading; race relations, economics, military power, national security, and foreign policy — all one giant web of interconnected issues. i'm not sure i even view that constellation in a coherent way, much less a christian one.

i realized how conflicted i felt when i went to the display where they invite visitors to leave a note of reflection. i read the words of others — sobered, thankful, questioning — and i was full of thoughts. but i just couldn't write anything down. i was all over the emotional map, and my words seemed feeble and inadequate. i was appalled and revulsed by the history of the country that i love. i was grateful for the fortitude and sacrifice of those people, from a variety of ethnic and religious backgrounds, who put their lives on the line in the hope of change. i was embarrassed by my ignorance and self-centeredness. i was amazed by how far we've come as a nation — america is certainly a different place than it was even fifty years ago — but disheartened by the on-going power of racialization and prejudice (both personal and systemic), the wide disparities they produce in opportunities and outcomes, and the reluctance of majority culture americans to recognize them. that discouragement is exacerbated by the fact that some on the underside seem unwilling to step up, resigned to their plight, while others revel in cultural elements that perpetuate many of these problems. to quote aunt ruby from tyler perry's regrettable movie version of madea's family reunion — "is this what we paid for?"

and when i look at american society and government in 2007, i wonder if our generation has the courage and determination to tackle such problems. to be honest, it looks doubtful. substantive debate on real issues is hard to come by. politicians are reduced to sound bites and talking points derived from focus groups; do any of these people have real principles or convictions of their own anymore? and i think we have to accept some of the responsibility for their shallowness; do we have the patience to think critically about intractable social problems, the willingness to face hard choices, and the courage to make great sacrifices anymore?

inspiration. vision. fear. doubt. grief. disgust. hope. discouragement. impossibly complicated problems. heroic sacrifices.

to me, an american with southern roots, a man of chinese descent with a black wife and biracial children, these are not abstract issues. they are personal and real. and as a follower of Jesus, i know that he intends a better world than this one. the word of God says he's planning on it — a world where people are not confined by race or gender, where they have the freedom and resources to exercise their God-given gifts to his glory and to bear his image in the world without the debilitating effects of sin. what will it mean for me — for all of us who have committed ourselves to him— to follow him there?

doesn't God have anything to say about the great problems of our day? surely he does! shouldn't the church be leading the way — in repentance, in love and service, in public policy, in moral vision, in personal sacrifice?

there is neither
jew nor greek,
slave nor free,
male nor female.
we are all one in Christ Jesus.
galatians 3:28

if my people who are called by my name humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then i will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
2 chronicles 7:14

then i saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea. and i saw the holy city, new jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband. and i heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and he will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and he will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.
revelation 21:1-4

a new home

the good news is that we are living in our new house. after three years in a tiny apartment in montreal, having our own place is a treat. m and i often sit at the dining room window, which features views of the valley that are beautiful any time of the day or night. and the extra space feels very luxurious!

of course, that feeling is accentuated by the fact that there is very little furniture here (just a few items the seller left). the shipment of our things from montreal has been delayed by 10 days, and given our experience with this moving company (described by b as 'sleazy'), i can imagine it taking a lot longer than that. for the time being, we're camping out on air mattresses, eating on paper plates, and starting to furnish the place with loaner items from generous friends at the lighthouse. the process of getting phone, internet, and garbage service has been frustratingly slow, but hopefully we'll have all of that nailed down this week.

there is still a bit of work to finish up with inter-varsity, but we've spent much of the last week getting acclimated to the new ministry environment. last week, i attended a leadership meeting (with the elders and the ministry area directors) on tuesday, had a breakfast meeting with pastor w on thursday, and introduced the family at the ministry community meeting on saturday. yesterday, we attended both worship services, then went up the hill to a delicious korean bbq at the home of d and k, who were hosting their small group for lunch.

i feel like there is a word about 'home' that will come out of this, but it's still percolating. for now, we're glad to be here, even if it's one of those already-but-not-yet kind of things.